Your identity is your sense of self. It’s the way you see who you and what you want from life. When you have a strong sense of self, you feel confident, capable, and prepared for whatever comes your way.
However, you may feel confused about who you are and what you want. You may notice this appear in your life as chronic perfectionism, self-doubt, and a feeling that you’re never enough. I can help you tune into your own feelings and inner wisdom so you can begin to create a life that’s in harmony with who you really are.
The Challenge of Developing Your Own Identity
Who are you? Not “who are you supposed to be”? And not “who do you wish you could be”? But who are you, really?
This isn’t a trick question. You may not have the answer right now. That’s OK. But it is important that you ask yourself “who am I and what do I want?”
When you can answer that question, you likely have a strong sense of self. You feel confident, internally strong, and generally optimistic about where you are and where you’re going in life. Unfortunately, it’s common to feel “shaky” about your own identity. You spend a lot of time feeling confused, disconnected, and full of doubt.
Why is it so hard to feel secure in who you are?
To embrace your true self and escape the self-doubt trap, you need to feel comfortable in your own skin. You need to feel seen and valued for who you really are. You need to feel secure.
This lack of security may have started when you were very young. Secure parent-child bonds are key to creating strong, secure adults. If you were raised by a parent who was depressed, anxious, or distracted in some way, you might not have gotten the firm foundation you needed. This can lead to a lifetime spent doubting your value and feeling "less than whole."
It can be painful to recognize these patterns, but noticing how they play out in life today can be the first step in finding wholeness. Pause for a moment and ask yourself these questions:
Do you take care of yourself adequately or do you put yourself last and others first?
Do you experience a nagging sense of low self worth and a nagging sense of shame you can’t quite explain?
Do you find yourself disconnecting from your emotions, or isolating yourself from others and their emotions?
Do you fear that others would reject you if they knew the “real you”?
If you feel uncomfortable with your answers, it might be time to seek some help.
Therapy helps heal self-doubt and helps you answer “Who am I, really?”
When you come to me for therapy, I help you explore the origins of your self-doubt and look at how your sense of self has developed over time. We also look at the current factors that contribute to who you are and discuss who you might want to be in the future.
Often, the way you learn to relate to yourself throughout childhood and adolescent years persists into adulthood. You may develop great strengths that help you adapt and thrive. These strengths may partially cover the parts of you that are still hurting and crippled by shame.
My goal is to help you get to know all the parts of YOU. You were born with an inherent capacity to be kind, compassionate, and accepting towards yourself. Together, we’ll find a way to help you access that supportive internal energy.
It is possible to answer “who are you, really?” with a sense of clarity, ease, and satisfaction. Let me help you declare "This is ME" with courage and joy.